~Autism Awareness Month!~

~Autism Awareness Month!~

 Hi Fairies and Specialists!

This isn’t my normal content but this is something that is close to me.

Around October of 2024, I discovered I have the traits of ADHD. Which is something I thought for many many years(10+). I was talking with my therapist and I told her I don’t sleep well. She asked if it was my meds, I told her I didn’t think so because my brain never shuts up. She asked had I been tested for adhd. To my knowledge, no. We took the RAADS test. I tested more towards adhd. This weight was lifted because I thought I had this for all these years. 

I left and called my mom. She said “I thought you’d have autism.” 31 years and this is the first I’d heard about it. 2 weeks later I made that comment to my therapist and once again, took the RAADs. My traits matched up with Autism aswell.

I am very much aware both of these are not official diagnoses. As someone who is “you can’t call yourself that until you have that diagnosis” I’m not paying $2,500 to get an official diagnosis of something that explains everything. Plus, that diagnosis is only as good as the psychiatrist you see. So, no thank you. I’m in the self diagnosis category. I’m perfectly fine being there.

When I got the news, I was pretty shocked. Never once crossed my mind. Then the research really started kicking into gear. Come to find out, neurotypicals don’t spend hours researching if you have autism or adhd. I was searching both simultaneously. Then I got pissed. 

How? How did I go through these years never knowing. Why? Why didn’t anyone tell me? I talked with my aunt. These discussions had gone on for years. My sister knew I was different back in high school? It was just a lot. I did go through the 5 stages of grief. That’s perfectly okay. 

When you realize you have a condition like this, it explains everything. Why I always liked my alone time. Why I don’t like loud music. Why it takes me forever to catch onto things. Why I have a hard time connecting with people and making friends. Why I can go years without talking to someone and picking up a phone like it was a few days ago. Why I have such difficulty in certain areas but not in others. Also, hyper fixations and special interest. In my case winx is my special interest and my hyper fixations change every few weeks. 

I thought I had a good understanding of social ques. I don’t. Like this past weekend I was talking with CJ and I finally understand the connection between people working 9-5 and it’s 5oclock somewhere. I finally know why atleast. 

Then logistics come into play. The time in typing this, the average age of a woman to be diagnosed with autism is 37. 60% of autistic people don’t or can’t work. There is no more autistic or less autistic. Autistic is autistic. There’s high support and low support. ADHD and autism couldn’t be diagnosed together until 2013. So parents choose what fit their kids best. Then you have the parents that never told their children because of the stigma. It doesn’t matter because neurotypical children do pick up on it and these kids spend years getting made fun of and not understanding why. It’s absolutely disgusting. Tell your kids. You’re not saving them from a life. You’re insuring these children don’t understand why. I can’t imagine the betrayal these adults feel.

When this first happened, I felt like I got answers to questions I never asked. Now? I’m mentally a lot better on myself. I’m still hard on myself. I think a lot of Audhders are. I can give myself grace and walk away from a situation and not feel like a failure. I’m learning my own limits because I have them and that’s okay. Taking a step back. Or walking away when you can’t handle something, is perfectly fine. No one else is in your head. You know your body and mind. 

The shutdowns and meltdowns are very real and you don’t control them. It’s okay. Ride them out and then do what you need to do. Know they aren’t temper tantrums. They’re apart of this condition. They happen. You don’t have to like them. You have to accept they happen. I still have issues with them and it’s hard taking my own advice. Just know it will pass. You won’t feel that way forever. I know it’s hard. Grace goes a long way. 

Then you have the people that say “don’t use it as an excuse” I won’t even touch it because it’s ridiculous. Those people, you’re better off not listening to. They will see it as they want and you’ll never get through to them. Don’t waste your energy on it. I promise, it’s not worth it.

You learn who you can trust real quick. Surround yourself with those people. They understand you in a way most people won’t. Join groups. Follow autistic and adhd TikTokers or instagramers. One YouTuber I love is “I’m Autistic… Now What?”

Be yourself and you’ll find your people. They exist. You can have a good and happy life.

It’s okay to be who you are at your core. The ones who stay are true friends. I have 10 people I talk to on a pretty regular basis. All know different parts of me and they all support me in different ways. I’m glad I have them. It’s made this life alittle easier. 

Autism and ADHD aren’t shameful things. You have them and that’s okay. We will all get through this together. 

My inbox is open for anyone that has questions or wants to talk. I’m pretty new to this so I might not have all the answers but, we all need to help each other. 

Believe In The Magic and Keep Collecting!

-WidowFata